As the days surge on nudging me to the gateway of adolescence , I look past at my imprudent teenage , in specific, of the days in the disgusting world among student community -Sri Chaitanya.
Following were some of the whole lot of unique things that takes place in Chaitanya's self-sentenced jails(read it hostels).
The day begins with a deafening and acute siren at 5 am. Classes begins at 6 am.
For a given floor of hostel block ,if there are certain number of bathrooms, of them , only a few are well constructed . (Got screwed. But yes, each cubicle differs from other by space, disposal of taps ..etc .couldnt elaborate further). And only a very few are well constructed and well previously used .
A shrewd quality seeking customer sets his alarm at 4:55 am. A fierce competitor runs at once at 5 am. A rather light hearted one waits in front of a bathroom for half an hour to get his turn.
A sleep seeking customer sets off to classroom directly from the bed.
Dont prod onto these questions if you come across a hostler.
when did u last had your bath?
when did u last had your clothes washed?
Do u brush daily?
Some of the responses will baffle you enough to leave your mouth agape.
Now, the settings turns to the class room.
Lectures wont mind students sleeping in the class and equally rising to the task, students wont mind lecturers looking at them when they doze off.
Breakfast time arrives after a couple of virtual sleeping hours. Those who can really pump the mess tiffins slip past their tastebuds, throat and into the intestine , yawns one final time, oustretches the muscles and heads to the mess with plates and glasses.Others continue to sleep.
After the mess, sick rooms come into the play. Sick rooms are the places where students who are sick can take rest during class hours or study hours as they are not allowed to hostels at that time. Some dare devils ,after their appetite is satisfied but not satisfied with sleeping while sitting process in classes takes unwarranted advantage of the sick rooms for a complete lay off. They pretend any of the aches or any of the fevers. Their happy safari rolls on till a campus incharge discovers them of their deceit and knocks them out with a punch or two.
Lunch and dinner are feasible products. Hardly a few miss them. Dining capacity is less than the number to be dined. To complete in the first round , students become a part of unorganised sprint race between class room building and mess.
Campus incharges and wardens are interesting characters . They do the job which is quite known to them and we do the job which is known to both of us. They know very few study in the study hours. They know about sleeping unit of students. They know of our crookedness. They know a dragooned horse to a pond need not drink water. Finally they know we are reluctant to change our ways. After all , we are a bunch of freaks driven by sleep and powered by food.
Dharma Prasad sir(in short D.P) is one of the campus incharges. He finds himself in between the lines to issue out evening snacks. He passes some wretched comments on students. One of those:-
D.P : enti bhanu, skin tight esaav?!
Bhanu: Fashion sir...
D.P: Fashion tarvaatha , lopala maadipoddemo...
HAHAHAHA..A roar of laughter in the air. Not a reaction that is necessary for that mean joke. But jokes in jail are rare to crop up. So, better to make most of such 'jewels'.
I will put some more comic strips in my next post.
Disclaimer: The narration is essentially from a loser's perspective and differs diametrically from a scholastic approach to the same.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Friday, May 11, 2007
STAND ON THE BENCH
Well, one may conceive it as an old fashioned cliche we often hear,in particular, from our school teachers . Not always. Here is an account of ten clowns on bench in an Engg. graphics class.
To begin with, the master is a vintage worn typical old man in Safari , wizard in the field and a lizard when pecking students is the order. On any given day , a class of his hardly passes by without him hurling his characteristic lingo-scattered bashing sentences which mostly ends with the word 'only'.
The noble event transpired on that fateful day. He went on with his artistic work for half an hour peacefully . On the hindsight, its the time before the inundation. Chat busting in the class steadily peaked as is his blood pressure. His patience melted down and the ones in the last benches are his usual prey. Without opting for a straight forward bash , he decided to hammer on from gear one.
Sir: 'Last bench last person , stand up'
He posed a question on projection of lines (front view,rear view etc etc)
victim1: blinked with a blank face.
Sir: 'Second person, stand up'.
victim2: An attempt made to answer but in vain.
Sir: naaxt.
victim3:Its me. Goofed up big time in the attempt.
Sir: Intervened in the middle of my erratic answer and pointed towards the next person.
victim4:Stood fearlessly uttering a few words(he is well known for his merry-go-round persona )
Sir: A look at him and he pointed the next one.
victim5:no sir. (pretty naive)
Sir: Now the question passes to last person of other row.
From here the routine took a lighter note . The boys were less shyful and gave up easily.
victims 6,7,8,9,10 stood up in no time.
Then the question was answered by a friend who is best equipped in the whole class. Thank god .
He is the 11th one in the series. The rest of the class survived.
Sir: Came to us and ordered STAND ON THE BENCH.
victims1-10: puzzled looks and wry smiles.
Sir: STAND UP U FOOLS. U ARE ALL FOOLS OF S-11 ONLY .......his vernacular dig for
some time.
we were reluctant and he is equally resoluted to see us aloft. No way out. One by one got up.
victim8: Sir, ceiling fan may come on my way. (he is lanky )
Sir: Switch off that fan.
The solution for the exaggerated proposition.
Now, every one except victim 5 stood on bench. He is seriously looking into the book without giving a damn to his surroundings. In came a awakening thunderbolt from the old lion and he is on the bench in a flash.
Sir: I promise ,u all will beg on the streets only......second round .
After giving us another dose he cooled off and turned to the green board to draw a figure.
Big time for victim 4 to play a prank. As if its not enough standing on the bench, he scaled one step higher and stood on the writing desk. He then turned around , bent slightly and quivered his hips.
A slightest hint of the happenings at the back of the sir, am sure, the victim would have died. Though the honeymoon on the bench lasted for only ten minutes, it was like a night mare in the present tense and a fond one to delve on in the past tense.
To begin with, the master is a vintage worn typical old man in Safari , wizard in the field and a lizard when pecking students is the order. On any given day , a class of his hardly passes by without him hurling his characteristic lingo-scattered bashing sentences which mostly ends with the word 'only'.
The noble event transpired on that fateful day. He went on with his artistic work for half an hour peacefully . On the hindsight, its the time before the inundation. Chat busting in the class steadily peaked as is his blood pressure. His patience melted down and the ones in the last benches are his usual prey. Without opting for a straight forward bash , he decided to hammer on from gear one.
Sir: 'Last bench last person , stand up'
He posed a question on projection of lines (front view,rear view etc etc)
victim1: blinked with a blank face.
Sir: 'Second person, stand up'.
victim2: An attempt made to answer but in vain.
Sir: naaxt.
victim3:Its me. Goofed up big time in the attempt.
Sir: Intervened in the middle of my erratic answer and pointed towards the next person.
victim4:Stood fearlessly uttering a few words(he is well known for his merry-go-round persona )
Sir: A look at him and he pointed the next one.
victim5:no sir. (pretty naive)
Sir: Now the question passes to last person of other row.
From here the routine took a lighter note . The boys were less shyful and gave up easily.
victims 6,7,8,9,10 stood up in no time.
Then the question was answered by a friend who is best equipped in the whole class. Thank god .
He is the 11th one in the series. The rest of the class survived.
Sir: Came to us and ordered STAND ON THE BENCH.
victims1-10: puzzled looks and wry smiles.
Sir: STAND UP U FOOLS. U ARE ALL FOOLS OF S-11 ONLY .......his vernacular dig for
some time.
we were reluctant and he is equally resoluted to see us aloft. No way out. One by one got up.
victim8: Sir, ceiling fan may come on my way. (he is lanky )
Sir: Switch off that fan.
The solution for the exaggerated proposition.
Now, every one except victim 5 stood on bench. He is seriously looking into the book without giving a damn to his surroundings. In came a awakening thunderbolt from the old lion and he is on the bench in a flash.
Sir: I promise ,u all will beg on the streets only......second round .
After giving us another dose he cooled off and turned to the green board to draw a figure.
Big time for victim 4 to play a prank. As if its not enough standing on the bench, he scaled one step higher and stood on the writing desk. He then turned around , bent slightly and quivered his hips.
A slightest hint of the happenings at the back of the sir, am sure, the victim would have died. Though the honeymoon on the bench lasted for only ten minutes, it was like a night mare in the present tense and a fond one to delve on in the past tense.
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